At the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition, we believe that life with ovarian cancer is not just about getting through the hard days. It’s also about discovering new purpose, finding your people, and learning to thrive.
In this episode of Teal Talk – An Ovarian Cancer Podcast, titled “More Than Surviving: Life After Ovarian Cancer,” we hear from Dr. Meredith Mitstifer, an ovarian cancer survivor, psychologist, and Chair of the NOCC Board. Meredith shares how she moved from survival mode to a life filled with connection, courage, and joy. Her story is filled with honest reflections, powerful moments, and encouraging advice for anyone navigating their own journey with ovarian cancer.
Love what you hear? Subscribe to Teal Talk – An Ovarian Cancer Podcast to hear more real stories, expert insights, and empowering conversations for survivors, caregivers, and advocates.
Survival mode is real, but it doesn’t last forever
In the early days of her diagnosis, Meredith found herself facing an overwhelming mix of emotions. While pregnant, she was diagnosed with clear cell carcinoma, a rare and aggressive form of ovarian cancer. She delayed treatment to protect her pregnancy and started chemotherapy six weeks after giving birth.
Those early days were filled with fear and uncertainty.
“That season was the definition of survival mode,” Meredith said. “But it really did lay the groundwork for a lot of growth and clarity.”
For many ovarian cancer patients, the focus at first is simply on making it through each day. That’s okay. Meredith reminds us that survival mode is part of the journey, not the whole story.
Whether you’re newly diagnosed or supporting someone who is, give yourself grace. Getting out of bed is progress. Making it through a tough moment is a win. And it’s important to remember that you won’t feel this way forever.
Not sure where to turn for comfort and care during treatment?
Request a free ovarian cancer care package from NOCC filled with helpful items and support tools.
Community makes a powerful difference
Finding the right support system can change everything. Meredith’s turning point came when she attended her first Together in TEAL walk. Surrounded by others who had walked similar paths, she realized she was no longer alone.
“The people who dragged me there weren’t afraid to stand in the hard with me,” she said. “It was then I realized I didn’t have to be the strong one all the time.”
The teal community offered more than just comfort. It reminded her she was still herself, not just a cancer patient. She was seen, supported, and celebrated.
At NOCC, we often hear from survivors who didn’t have a nearby friend or family member to lean on. That’s why we offer peer support programs and local community events so no one has to walk through ovarian cancer alone.
If you haven’t connected with the teal community yet, this is your sign. There is strength in showing up, even when you don’t have all the answers.
Ready to take your first step toward joy and purpose after treatment?
Register for a Together in TEAL® event and find your place in a powerful, uplifting community.
Thriving after ovarian cancer looks different for everyone
Thriving doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect. It means living fully and choosing joy, even on the hard days.
“Thriving looks like finding joy without guilt, setting boundaries without apology, and saying yes to adventures,” Meredith shared. “I used to think I had to bounce back to who I was. Now I choose to bounce forward.”
For Meredith, thriving involved:
- Saying no to things that drained her
- Embracing the new version of herself
- Reclaiming creativity and adventure
- Celebrating small wins
She encourages others to start where they are. You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin moving forward. Healing is not linear, and thriving can look like baby steps.
If you’re trying to reconnect with joy, start with the little things. A walk outside, a funny podcast, or a simple text to someone who gets it can help. Those moments add up.
Looking to connect with others who truly understand your experience?
Join a Survivor or Caregiver Peer Support Group and find strength in community.
Take this with you: You don’t have to do this alone
Meredith’s story shows us that life after an ovarian cancer diagnosis is not just possible. It can be filled with meaning, connection, and purpose.
The path from surviving to thriving looks different for everyone, but you don’t have to figure it out on your own. The National Ovarian Cancer Coalition is here to walk with you, support you, and remind you that you are never alone in this.
What you can do right now
- Join a Survivor or Caregiver Peer Support Group
- Sign up for a Together in TEAL event near you
- Order an Ovarian Cancer Care Package
- Subscribe to Teal Talk and never miss an episode
Episode Transcript
LAG: [00:00:00] Hello everyone, and welcome to this episode of Teal Talk, an ovarian cancer podcast. Teal Talk is produced by the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition. You’ll hear from medical professionals, survivors, and advocates to help guide you with knowledge, confidence, and support on your journey.
LAG: Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave a comment with topics you’d like to hear about and follow us on social media at NCC National.
LAG: This episode of Teal Talk is made possible thanks to the support of people like you and our generous sponsor, Merck.
Vanda Soldati: Welcome to the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition’s Teal Talk and Ovarian Cancer Podcast. I’m Vonda Soldati, director of Events and Community Engagement at the NOCC, and thrilled to be your host today. Joining me is truly an inspiring guest, Dr. Meredith Mitstifer. Not only is she an ovarian cancer survivor, a psychologist, she also serves as chair of the board at the NOCC.
Vanda Soldati: [00:01:00] We’re thrilled to have her. Today, we’ll be talking about a topic and exploring more than surviving: a journey towards thriving. Meredith, welcome thrilled to have you with us today. Can you take us back to the beginning of your journey and talk about those early days?
Meredith: Sure. Thank you so much for having me. It’s a pleasure to be here. The beginning was complicated. Like most people, I’m sure. I had already been dealing with years of infertility, endometriosis, so my body and I were in this constant tug of war. When I finally decided to move forward with the Pocketable fertility procedure the doctors found a large unexplained mass.
Meredith: At first, we didn’t know what it was. I wanted to wait and monitor this since I had a history of gynecological issues. But in that month of waiting, it tripled in size. Things of course escalated quickly. Surgery was recommended. [00:02:00] But just before surgery, during those re routine pre-op test, I found out in that month of waiting that I had.
Meredith: Become naturally pregnant. So after everything we had been through with infertility, it was a surreal moment for sure. And all this hope and fear was definitely tangled together. So again, all recommendations way back then. I put surgery on hold and waited until I was four months gestation before moving forward.
Meredith: During the surgery at four months gestation, the mass ruptured when they tried to remove it, spilling its contents inside me. Fetus survived. And a few days later I was diagnosed with clear cell carcinoma, a rare and aggressive form of ovarian cancer. I then made another difficult decision being pregnant to delay treatment so that I could carry the pregnancy as far as possible and safely as possible.
Meredith: And six weeks after I delivered my son, I started [00:03:00] chemo. It was terrifying. To make matters worse, the people I thought that would be my support system weren’t. I was navigating motherhood, cancer treatment and a lot of emotional wreckage all at once, but somehow I made it through. I finished treatment.
Meredith: I finished my doctorate, and I got divorced, which was just another layer of loss, but also I believe a step from my healing. That season, shall I say, was the definition of survival mode, but it really did lay the groundwork for a lot of growth and clarity that came after for me.
Vanda Soldati: So Meredith, you mentioned a lot in your journey, a doctorate degree, getting a divorce, and then on top of it, a top of that ovarian cancer diagnosis.
Vanda Soldati: When did you realize that you did not have to face ovarian cancer? All alone.
Meredith: I think there are two moments that really stand out to me. One [00:04:00] sounds very simplistic, right? It was a very good friend, my college roommate, and she just showed up and she had no grand gestures, no speeches. She just sat down next to me and didn’t try to fix anything and she just said, wow, Mere, this really sucks.
Meredith: And. I don’t know. As weird as that sounds, it was extremely refreshing. It was the first moment that I thought maybe I can open the door a little bit. But even more I think the second moment and the more defining moment was actually attending my first national ovarian cancer coalition walk in Philadelphia.
Meredith: And it was due to some really good friends that actually had to drag me there. But that’s honestly when it hit me that I didn’t have to do this solo. I. Met people. I heard their stories stories that I obviously could relate to. And I was just also surrounded by people who, got it.
Meredith: Vanda, like they don’t have to [00:05:00] say anything, but you just feel that they understand. And that was really powerful for me. And the people who dragged me there they weren’t afraid to stand in the hard with me, which is something I truly appreciated. So I guess it was then I realized I don’t have to be the strong one all the time, and I don’t have to carry this alone.
Meredith: There truly is strength in letting others show up for you even when you feel like a hot mess in your pajamas that the laundry, has not seen in a long time.
Vanda Soldati: At the NOCC, and I’m sure you’re accustomed to this too, Meredith, we hear sometimes people don’t have that friend that can show up or their family lives far away. So can you tell us more about the Teal community, how it actually helped in recovery, emotionally, physically, and being there for you?
Meredith: Oh gosh, yeah.
Meredith: I wish I had found this community sooner because community is or was at that time and still is for me, everything. It was the messages that just came at [00:06:00] just the right moment, right? The people that said to me as soon as they met me, you don’t have to be strong today. You don’t have to be strong here.
Meredith: But they were also ones that brought laughter back into the room. Emotionally, I think they were the people that held space for my grief and my fear my mess, right? Like cancer’s messy, treatment’s messy realizing who’s gonna be in your journey and who isn’t. So mentally they reminded me that I’m still me.
Meredith: I’m not just a patient. I’m more than just a diagnosis. And people ask me, how did you do it with a baby? And I say, how did you do it without a baby? These people, this community and my baby definitely anchored me when I couldn’t find my footing. So community and of course my son were definitely great lifelines and it was those that met me where I was at, but also gently tried to push me towards a little joy and every gesture that reminded me that I was still human and still loved and still me, even though I looked different and [00:07:00] I felt different.
Meredith: And I didn’t know who I was anymore at times. They reminded me that I wasn’t just surviving cancer. I was living life and I had to live life, even if it was one awkward, bald headed day at a time.
Vanda Soldati: There’s nothing like the teal community at NOCC. So surviving, thriving. What’s the difference and where do you see yourself in terms of thriving?
Meredith: I can start with surviving, right? That’s when we white knuckle things. It’s those breath by breath moments. You’re just trying to make it through the day or finish a bunch of tasks where thriving. That’s where life really started to expand for me. It looks like finding joy without guilt and setting boundaries without apology.
Meredith: Embracing this new version of myself with my scars, my strengths, my softness, it’s about, being fearless and feeling fully alive. I sometimes look back at [00:08:00] surviving like when you’re on this treadmill that’s slightly like a little too fast and you’re just trying not to fall off and keep your balance all the time.
Meredith: Where when you move over to the thriver ship, I say that’s when you step off this treadmill and you decide that you’re gonna walk, skip, or dance at your own pace. Thriving definitely looks different now than it did when I was, in the heat of it. But how it looks now or different for me now is that I can say no more often and I celebrate the little things.
Meredith: I surround myself with people who get it and a lot less negativity. I have a lot less rules or what I call shoulds in my life. Even though I think by nature I’m a caretaker, while I still tend to take care of others, it’s not at the expense of not taking care of myself anymore. And last I say yes to crazy adventures and I love being part of the National Ovarian Cancer Coalitions team Teal Endurance [00:09:00] platform.
Meredith: I have found to love challenging myself. And while it’s not always flashy, it definitely is incredibly freeing. It reminds me to be grateful that I’m alive.
Vanda Soldati: Pivotal moments. Was there a time when you started to realize, I’m not just getting through this, I’m growing from this experience?
Meredith: It’s a really great question. I think the shift wasn’t overnight, but through that shift it definitely changed the lens that I saw everything through. Maybe it was the moment that I realized I could not let this experience shape me. Or I could let this experience, I should say, shape me without letting it define me.
Meredith: So growth came in these weird, quiet ways, like how I handle stress or the things that I say to myself. I think they were more subtle, but repetitive for me to watch out for. One of the biggest shifts maybe happened when I stopped trying to bounce back, right? Some people that don’t understand us in the cancer [00:10:00] world, right?
Meredith: They’re just so ready for you to be your old self again. I don’t know if I would ever be my old self again or if I’d want to. I learned to start leaning into the idea of bouncing forward. Because, let’s face it, bouncing back to who I was before cancer I didn’t really know her anymore. And I don’t think that person knew how to sleep or how to take care of herself or how to say no to things.
Meredith: So I think growth came in the moment. I realized that I didn’t need to go back, but rather forward. It’s not wrapped up all in this great motivational poster. It comes in everyday choices, choosing joy. Especially when you just feel so blah and choosing boundaries even when other people don’t get it.
Meredith: I also think. Giving yourself grace that some days are gonna be messy and weird, and choosing to believe that my pain could be repurposed into something meaningful and it is now. That type of movement, that movement [00:11:00] forward, it counts. My favorite quote is from Kay Yow. She was a former legendary basketball coach who was diagnosed and died of breast cancer.
Meredith: But she said, when life kicks you let it kick you forward. So I try to follow that.
Vanda Soldati: So talk about the little things, finding joy in the little things. What does that mean to you in terms of recovery and renewal?
Meredith: The little things are everything, and I don’t know if I realized that right away or not but when you’ve been in a place where getting out of bed is a win.
Meredith: Or tasting food again, that tastes like a miracle. You start to see how much life lives in the small stuff. Celebrating the little things remind you that you’re moving forward, even if it’s only, inch by inch. I also think celebrating the little things it brings gratitude into the picture.
Meredith: And for me, gratitude was a game changer. We hear all the time, be grateful. Talk about gratitude. Do a gratitude journal. And [00:12:00] I don’t think it’s all talk. When you start your day first thing in the morning talking about different things you’re grateful for and never letting one of them repeat, it really forces you to look at, what good things are around.
Meredith: And when you’re faced with the big stuff, you realize how sacred the small stuff is. So those moments they add up.
Vanda Soldati: For others that are still trying to find their path, still trying to find their way whether it’s to be creative again to advocate, what do you tell them where they can start?
Meredith: I think someone had told me this, and it really stuck with me and it was, you don’t have to know exactly who you’ll be on the other side of this.
Meredith: Just trust that you will still be there. But maybe it’ll be a deeper, more resilient version of yourself. Again, give yourself grace. Let people in. Remember healing is definitely not in a straight line, and that’s okay. Whether you wanna cry or you wanna laugh Or [00:13:00] both, that’s part of it.
Meredith: And most importantly, this is why I just love the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition, you’re just not alone. You’re doing probably better than you think. You’re not weak for struggling for goodness sake, you’re a dragon slayer, right? For just showing up and dealing with everything that you have to deal with on that day.
Meredith: I know some people refer to this process all the time, like a fight, right? We’re gonna fight cancer and instead I recommend that you negotiate with it, right? Maybe you give it the little side eye every now and then. And for me, of course, sarcasm takes a role. So sometimes I add in some sarcastic comments when it tries to ruin your week.
Meredith: So you don’t have to have it all figured out, and you don’t need to be brave every second of the day. I would just recommend to take one step and one messy moment at a time and find your people because we are here.
Vanda Soldati: This has been a journey for you. This is 21 years in the [00:14:00] making since that original diagnosis.
Vanda Soldati: So finally, Meredith, for anyone listening who’s currently navigating treatment, wondering what comes next, what message, what mindset would you want to leave them with?
Meredith: Go at your own pace. But if you feel like you’re getting stuck, that’s definitely a sign that you’re not capable of doing this all on your own. And reach out and know that there is a community of Teal that understands and gets it. And all you need to do is find that. Community and it can make a world of difference.
Meredith: So don’t try to do this alone. There’s not a bigger prize at the end if you get through it by yourself. And in fact, I think the bigger prize is when you realize the community of support that is out there for you. So that’s what I would recommend. And I waited too long. I wish I would’ve started a bit earlier, but my stubbornness played a role and maybe things would’ve been a little bit easier to handle if I didn’t wait as long.
Vanda Soldati: [00:15:00] Here you are, and we’re thrilled that you took the time to be with us. Thank you truly for sharing your story and the hope that comes with it. Your journey is truly, it’s a powerful reminder to us all, whether we have a cancer diagnosis or not, that life is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving.
Vanda Soldati: And to our listeners, you are not alone. There is life beyond an ovarian cancer diagnosis, and the Teal community at the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition is here to walk alongside you. To learn more, visit us@ovarian.org. Until next time, take care.
LAG (2): Thanks for listening to this episode of Teal Talk. We’d love your feedback. Take our quick survey linked in the description or drop a comment with your questions and topic suggestions. For more information about the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition and our mission, visit ovarian.org. Until next time, stay informed.
LAG (2): Stay empowered, and take [00:16:00] care.
